Human Traffickers Exasperated by Streamer Antics

Published: Fri Dec 27 2024 00:00:00 GMT+0000 (Coordinated Universal Time)
Amir Bilan is about to become famous. Or at least that's what he's hoping. "My dream is to become a famous streamer in Europe," he said.
Originally from Somalia, he paid traffickers in Tripoli to help him reach the Italian coast. He travelled light, bringing with him with him a single change of clothes as well as his trademark, irreverent sense of humor.
Things got off to a roaring start as he greeted everyone on the boat with his best Borat impression: "Niek'Shimesh, I like!!"
Once out to sea he recorded himself farting on other passengers, or grabbing their phones to take pictures of his testicles, and asking pregnant women to give up their seats.
He even went as far as to SWAT other boats from competing traffickers. Unfortunately for Amin, however, he had forgotten to turn off geolocation services on his phone. This allowed the Lybian coastguard to pinpoint the boat's exact location and intercept it a few miles off the coast. All migrants were then brought back to Tripoli and sent to detention centers.
Amir is not deterred however and says he will attempt another crossing as soon as possible. Ever the optimist, he's adjusting quickly to his new environment "Look at all these people crammed in here! It's the perfect place for content!"