The mood was somber at the Edmonton Bioware offices on Friday, as the writing staff for Dragon Age: The Veilguard was unceremoniously ejected from their positions as gaming's chief pontificators.

"We wanted to lighten the mood", said Brenda Starchild, head of HR and chief talent executioner. "We felt that injecting a bit of color would help end things on a positive note", she added, referring to the multi-color boxes.

"I can't believe I invested 10 years of my life into these games and this is how it all ends", said Thomas Klein, one of the impacted writers, "with an ugly green box and a gift card to Tim Hortons'. That's so messed up."

"There can be a sense of entitlement, unfortunately" said Starchild, who explained that some writers had to be forcefully dragged from their cubicles. "Not everyone went quietly. There was a lot of crying and whining, punctuated by sudden bouts of slam poetry. Some of those poems were pretty creative", she continued. "If only they had put the same amount of effort into their writing, things might have turned out differently".

Some former staffers took to social media earlier in the week in a bid to pressure Bioware to reverse their decision. Mrs. Starchild said that such efforts were pointless, however. "We're in the process of launching a vicious smear campaign against them. We've reached out to all the major gaming news sites and they're willing to help. Coleen Loriarny over at IGN is especially excited."