Things took a dark and odorous turn earlier this week as local guild AxeToMouth gathered at the Stoutlager Inn to celebrate the acquisition of their newest member, Fondle, a holy priest who “heals pets” and can dispel diseases “without being asked six times”.

The evening started off on a high note, with members gathering in the tap room to enjoy some well-earned downtime. “We were all drinking and laughing, talking about our latest clear of The Molten Core”, recalls Broozecruise, a retribution paladin and guild officer known for his keen appreciation of all things scatological. “I started things off with a well-timed anal [Judgement]. That one always lands with the fellas”. Gruntathornberg, a druid also in attendance, followed up with a quick anal [Ravage] to keep the laughs going. The fun came to an abrupt end, however, after destruction warlock Beelzebro joined in.

“It happened so fast. Shit just exploded everywhere” said another guild member, explaining that everyone was caught off-guard by the sudden explosion of scalding, corrosive excrement. “I saw the strain on his face, but I didn't think he would actually do it. Everyone knows you don’t actually cast the spell. Especially warlocks.”

“With great anal [Power] comes great anal [Responsibility]”, concedes Beelzebro, who is still trying to repair to damage done to both his rectum and his reputation. “I just took it too far”.

The next morning the Innkeeper was still wiping the fire, brimstone and feces off the walls. Fondle chose to leave the guild following the incident, stating that he felt he was not a “culture fit”. “I’m hoping he’ll reconsider” said Broozecruise. “I’m on my way to Stormwind to smooth things over with him. He’s doing the orphanage quests there. Apparently, he never misses those.”